Moondance
by ancarett
Summary: Three Valentine's Days for Lois go from sweetness to sorrow to joy.


Notes: Written for the 12daysofclois Valentine's challenge on livejournal. Beta credit to markclark.

_Well, it's a marvelous night for a moondance_

_With the stars up above in your eyes_

She stood on the quiet balcony of her apartment, looking up towards the sky and the full moon hanging in the sky over Metropolis. Wrapping her warm woolen scarf close to her chin and twisting her hands into the heavy cloth of her coat, she shivered as she kept a careful watch. Even so, she missed him landing silently behind her, having approached from the west in order to catch her off guard.

"Lois."

She gasped and spun around, a smile of love and greeting transforming her face. "You sneak! You surprised me!"

As Superman stepped closer to her, she noticed that he was smiling, too. Good, no crises or catastrophes, so far, to interrupt their special night.

Lois closed the distance until she was mere inches away from his warmth. Stretching herself up on her tiptoes, she raised her lips for a kiss. It was then that she noticed one hand behind his back, concealed by the cape.

"What's this?" she asked, craning her neck to try and catch a glimpse of what he was holding.

"It's for you, Lois. A Valentine's gift." He pulled out his hand to show her a rectangular box of wood with metal inlay. "Open it."

She couldn't resist. Flipping the small clasp, she let the lid spring up and a tinkle of music emerged. "A music box?" she asked.

He nodded. "You said you loved dancing. Well, I can't take you out like this," he ruefully indicated his colourful costume, "but we can dance here, if you'd like."

She smiled even more broadly than she had before. "It's a wonderful idea and a wonderful gift." Winding up the music box, she carefully set it on the balcony table and leaned back into his embrace. The moon illuminated their bodies merging into one as, with a contented sigh, she laid her head back against his shoulder.

He raised one eyebrow. "Don't you think it's a little cold out here for dancing?"

Lois laughed. "Don't we have our love to keep us warm, Kal-El?" The name tripped awkwardly off of her tongue as if something was not quite right about the word. It was his Kryptonian name, he'd explained, but it didn't fit him completely. Sometimes that bothered her but she wouldn't let anything destroy the magic of this night.

Picking up the music box in one hand and taking her hand in the other, he led her back into her apartment. The music box tinkled brightly from its perch on the table. "May I have this dance?" he asked quite formally.

Pulling off her scarf and unbuttoning her coat, she nodded with regal grace. "You may."

They both knew it wouldn't end there. Lois also knew, as she slipped into his arms and leaned into his warm body, that there was only so far they could go with this relationship. But it was Valentine's Day, a day for romance, and she'd let go those misgivings. Tonight she would dance and forget the complications. Soon they gave up anything but the pretext of dancing. Lois daintily stepped on the toes of his boots and floated with him above the floor. Swaying with him to the music's gentle rhythm, she gave herself over to the insubstantial magic of the moonlit night.

_And when you come my heart will be waiting_

_To make sure that you're never alone_

Lois stood on the cold balcony of her empty apartment for one last time, looking out over the city skyline. She told herself she was saying goodbye to her apartment, but, really, in her heart of hearts she knew she was saying goodbye to hope. Somehow, one little part of her had always believed that, if she waited long enough, he would return. If she stood on that balcony long enough, she'd hear that familiar, soft voice say her name.

But she'd done this too many nights over the months since he'd left. She knew that she wouldn't hear his voice or the slight whistle of wind that heralded his flying in. He was gone from her life, from her city and her world as swiftly and inexplicably as he had come. Sometimes she wondered if she'd made it all up, then she looked through the archive of articles with her byline, the thousands of news photos and television clips that showcased his heroics as well as his disappearance. That's when she thought it would have been better if she had made up Superman. If he'd been fiction, there's no way he could have broken her heart, left her alone and abandoned.

At times like this she told herself that something horrific must have happened. Only the failure of Lex Luthor or another villain to materialize and take credit for Superman's defeat gave her any comfort. And that was cold comfort at best. Whatever the reason, she would probably never know what had happened to the man she loved.

Now it was Valentine's Day, again. Only, this Valentine's Day, instead of having a romantic tryst with her lover, Lois was closing the door on her old life. The apartment was sold. She needed a bigger place to live, and soon. The moon was waxing and so was her figure.

Lois laid one tentative hand across the bulge of her belly. She was crazy to move in with Richard while she was still coming to terms with her relationship with him. Adding a baby to the mix was even crazier. Tell this to a woman who'd loved a man who could fly. And for a while, had thought he loved her, too.

From the doorway of her apartment, she heard a jingle of keys. Richard came to the patio doors. "It's cold, you should wear your coat," he chided, picking it up from the counter in the otherwise empty apartment. "The movers will have your stuff at the house tomorrow. We should get going. It's not good for you to be doing so much in your condition."

Lois forced a smile as she reached for her coat and wrapped it tight around her. "Don't fuss, Richard. I'll be fine. I'm not the first pregnant woman in the world. I'll be fine."

He gave her a gentle hug across the shoulders and reached into his overcoat pocket. "I know you'll be fine. You're Lois Lane. But you're also a woman on Valentine's Day who deserves something nice."

"You didn't have to," Lois protested but he pushed the box into her hand. It was small, black velvet and strangely foreboding.

"Open it," Richard encouraged.

Inside, a discreet engagement ring lay nestled on a bed of white satin. Lois looked up, speechless and uneasy. "Richard, you didn't have to. . . ."

"Look," he said, raising one hand in protest, "this would all have been done a lot more romantically had you gone along with my plan to have dinner out tonight with me instead of coming here to check on the movers. So you're going to have to take it as it is." With an endearing grin, he dropped down to one knee in her empty apartment. "Lois Lane, will you marry me?"

She looked down at the ring and then up, over his shoulder, to the empty skies of Metropolis outside. Blinking away a rush of tears, she whispered her acceptance and felt her last, faint hopes fade to nothingness.

_There and then all my dreams will come true, dear_

_There and then I will make you my own_

"Mom?"

Jason's voice drifted out of his open bedroom doorway. Lois sighed and stepped away from her contemplation of the new moon hanging silent in the sky, setting off to tuck her son into bed.

"You all ready for bed, munchkin?" she asked, smiling fondly as she pulled the coverlet up to his chin.

"Yeah, brushed my teeth extra-well, Mom," Jason said sleepily. "Thanks for letting me have the chocolate."

She smiled gently as she smoothed his hair away from his forehead. "Hey, it's Valentine's Day! And you've been trying new foods pretty well this past year, including chocolate. Just not quite this much at once."

He smiled and rolled his head to gaze towards the window. "Do you think he'll come by tonight, Mom?"

Lois glanced towards the window. "I'm sure he'll stop by, Jason. But you know—"

"He's busy and he can't be everywhere at once," Jason finished for her.

"That's right. Now, get to sleep. Tomorrow will be a busy day."

"More chocolate?" Jason asked as he let his eyes drift closed.

"More chocolate," Lois reassured her son.

As she made her way back to her study, she sighed. If only a grown-up's Valentine's wishes could be as easily solved with a handful of chocolates and brightly coloured cards. She'd gone far beyond that, now. Ending her long engagement with Richard had been hard enough, but they both knew it was going nowhere. They'd made so many changes in the last months and a new home was the least of it but it still felt strange to look out and down over the city skyline. Strange, but also like home except in one important way.

Lois glanced at the music box that sat on the highest bookshelf. Standing on her tiptoes she pulled it down and carefully wound it up. It began to tinkle out the soft, romantic tune and she placed it carefully down on her desk, hugging herself against a sudden chill of memory. The tears that came to her eyes were swift and unexpected and she laughed in a helpless, bitter way as she thought back on those dreamy days.

Of course, this would be when he showed up. She heard a discreet clearing of the throat that told her she wasn't alone. Angry at herself, she wiped the moisture from her eyes and turned around.

"Lois? Are you all right?"

"Sure," she said with a defiant shake of her head. "Come to see Jason?"

"I already checked in on him," Superman said quietly. "But I wanted to see how you're doing." His glance shifted away from her face to regard the music box and she saw his expression shift to one of pain and regret.

Emboldened, Lois closed the distance between them and laid one hand on his chest. She could feel his heat, his heartbeat picking up its pace with her touch, his shallow breaths. Since he'd returned, she'd been careful to try and keep her distance. Even after the break-up with Richard, she'd tried to respect what she thought were the proprieties and hang onto that last bit of her dignity because what happened if you threw yourself at an old flame and he laughed in your face. With an ordinary guy you could just avoid him. With a superhero and father of your child, you would have your folly thrown back in your face every day for the rest of your life.

But something about the moment gave her strength. She moved so close she was just a breath away from him and felt a twinge of hope when he leaned into her, his face coming close. Before her courage faded away, Lois whispered her question. "Dance with me?"

His hands came up to cradle her body and she laid her head against his chest. They moved slowly to the music and Lois felt herself relaxing with the utter rightness of the moment.

"You know," she said as they moved together, "sometimes I wish you were an ordinary guy. Somebody I just met at work or on the street." She leaned back in his embrace and looked up at his serious expression, elaborating as he kept his silence. "We could go out to the park as a family or get together for a holiday. We could share a joke, a meal and a home. We could be together and have a life."

Lois dropped her gaze. "I thought I'd have that with Richard, after you left. But I didn't love him, no matter how much I tried, and it just wasn't fair. And now, here we are." She laughed again, without humour. The music box wound down and the last notes faded. They stopped moving and she raised her eyes to see him watching her intently.

"I've blown it now, haven't I? Just made things worse?"

Superman, Kal-El, shook his head in negation and finally spoke. "No, Lois, you haven't. I'm sorry. This was all my fault. I left you and I thought you were happier with Richard when I came back. Even when he left, I thought you wanted to be on your own. I thought you only wanted me around as a friend and a protector. I didn't think you wanted me any other way any more."

Lois felt her hopes rise but she wouldn't let things go too far. They'd been down this road before. The frustrations of a secretive romance had been tough enough before he'd left for five years. How much more difficult would it be with Jason around?

"I don't know," she said warily. "I love you but I can't just live for a few hours, here and there, when you fly into our lives then fly back out. I need to have something real. Jason needs that, too."

Superman looked down for a moment and drew a deep breath. "What if you didn't have to? What if we could be together like you said?"

She arched one eyebrow as she considered his words. "You mean, check your cape at the dry cleaners? Have you assume some secret identity as an ordinary working stiff?"

She felt the rumble of a chuckle come from his chest. "Well, what if this is the secret identity? What if I could be ordinary most of the time?"

Lois stepped back, breaking their embrace. She crossed her arms and stared at him in disbelief. "This isn't just a joke. This isn't just taking my idea and running with it, either. You have a "secret identity", don't you?"

She saw his chest inflate and his stance shift uneasily. This was interesting, she thought. She'd seen him in almost every mood, but never really uncomfortable or awkward. It was almost like. . . . No, that didn't make sense. Narrowing her gaze sharply, she regarded Superman with suspicious consideration.

Again, he took a deep breath and it finally seemed to fortify him enough to answer her question. "Lois Lane, I'm. . . Clark Kent."

Lois leaned back onto the desk for support and stared at him incredulously. Suddenly, it all made sense, though the wave of anger and outrage that filled her made it hard not to shout and rail. All this time, working right beside her. She could scream. But you weren't one of the best reporters or a mother without learning at least some self-control. One minute, then two passed while she fought for balance.

"Well," she finally managed, pushing herself away from the desk, "that was a surprise, wasn't it?" She waved him away as he stepped closer. "Not right now, okay. Give me a minute."

He hovered, not really, but in every other sense, as she slowly sat down on the loveseat below the window in her book-lined study. Looking back at him, she could see the truth staring her right in the face, anxiously, awkwardly, lovingly. She laughed again, but this time it was bright and clear with amazement. "All this time and you were right there. And the bravest, strongest, most powerful man in the world never had the courage to tell me who he really was?"

He swept aside his cape and gingerly sat down beside her. Still not meeting her gaze, he began to explain but Lois forestalled his rambling story with one hand laid on his forearm. "I'm probably going to drive you crazy for months with questions, Kal-El, Clark, damnit! Those stupid glasses! Oh, just shut up." Impulsively, she leaned forward and kissed him. Feeling that familiar warmth against her lips after all those years of loneliness, self-deception and denial, she wanted to cry. But Lois Lane wasn't someone to waste a minute after all these years of stops and starts. With a smile, she pushed him back on the love seat and leaned over him.

"There are still a few hours. Care to show a girl a good time on Valentine's Day, Clark Kent?" she asked, huskily.

"Always and forever, Lois Lane," he promised and reached up to seal his words with a kiss.


End file.
